At a glance, dinner and a spreadsheet may seem like an odd paring. Afterall, how many of you plan a date night to talk about money? Well, I’m here to say it’s something my husband and I do regularly, and for other MilSpouses — like Tate from Fort Benning, GA — it’s not so strange.
While money can cause stress in relationships, money talk can also boost relationship satisfaction. With that in mind, here’s an idea you can borrow from my husband and me to spring into the new year: Make a date to do a financial year in review (aka year-end net worth tracking). We have been surprised how our annual financial dates bring us even closer together!
Make a date
We set a date to do a financial year in review and jointly identify financial priorities for the new year. We each go into it with a good attitude and common purpose. Remember, a big part of this is jointly identifying and setting goals you can both work toward. We consider how each of us relate to and think about money (each person deals with money differently, as spending habits form early in life). We set ground rules with each other to communicate in a respectful manner. For a little pre-date homework, check out this five-minute read on communicating as a couple. We have found it helpful to set a time limit on the money talk (we use one hour). But spend as much time as you want daydreaming together about the future.
Set goals together
A big part of our money date is identifying our dreams and goals — this is the fun part! Together, we put a plan in place to achieve them. We find it’s helpful to start by agreeing on one or two goals. This could include paying off credit card debt, taking a family vacation or buying a car. Some goals may not be sexy (like upcoming home maintenance or auto repairs), but they are important and require planning. Learn more about setting SMART goals and get other financial planning tips.
Bring out the spreadsheet
For some, this may not be the fun part but it’s a critical step. Our preferred method is tracking everything in a spreadsheet. Whether you plug your finances into a software program, use a mobile app, or paper and pencil, the point here is you’ll want to have a summary of your current situation. Once we get it updated, we review our emergency fund. If you don’t have one, don’t panic; you might find this short video on understanding an emergency fund helpful. Next, we review our accounts: investment balances (breath; remember in the current economy, everyone’s investments have taken a hit) and debt balances like credit cards, car payments, etc. Lastly, I like to bring our spending plan up for review. Here is where we look at our goals from step one and then consider things like adjusting what we spend on dinners out or reviewing our subscriptions to check if we still want them.
Reflect on the past year
Before we create a plan for the new year, we look back on this year and think about what went well. We reflect, acknowledge and celebrate the financial wins from the year like saving up for our family vacation ahead of time and paying off our credit card. Then, we think about things we can do better in the coming year. Any impulse purchases that set you back and wish you could re-do? Any emergencies or repairs that caught you off guard? Did inflation make it harder to make ends meet? We give ourselves a pat on the back for our smart money moves, then we decide how we can readjust our spending behaviors to avoid any missteps (as that can happen to anyone) and put us on track to reach our goals.
Agree to adjust your spending plan
Next, we chart a course and adjust our spending plan to meet our goals. Depending on our goals, this could mean boosting our emergency fund, paying down debt or increasing contributions to retirement or other accounts. We look at new contribution limits for TSPs and IRAs and adjust our spending and savings plan accordingly. Remember, IRA contributions for 2022 can be made up to the tax-filing deadline on April 18, 2023.
As we approach our family finances, we take a page from the military: plan, plan, plan. As you and your partner review 2022 and prepare your finances for 2023, remember achieving your goals is a series of small steps and incremental changes. Staying on track with your financial goals takes a bit of work and a lot of communication. In addition to the year-end planning, my husband and I like to have a mini-money date once a month to check on our progress toward our goals and address surprises that come up as they always do.
Whether you want to make it a date over tacos, coffee, a glass of wine or in some other way, set a plan with your spouse to start the new year off on the right financial foot.
Mandi Moynihan is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional who has been with MilSpouse Money Mission since its inception. She also served in the Army and is the spouse of a retired service member.
MilSpouse Money Mission® is a Department of Defense resource that offers FREE personal financial education specifically geared toward spouses. There is a Money Ready guide for various stages of financial life, a MilLife Milestones section to help you through the big moments in your military journey, a blog, spouse videos, quizzes, calculators and more!
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At a glance, dinner and a spreadsheet may seem like an odd paring. Afterall, how many of you plan a date night to talk about money? Well, I’m here to say it’s something my husband and I do regularly, and for other MilSpouses — like Tate from Fort Benning, GA — it’s not so strange.
While money can cause stress in relationships, money talk can also boost relationship satisfaction. With that in mind, here’s an idea you can borrow from my husband and me to spring into the new year: Make a date to do a financial year in review (aka year-end net worth tracking). We have been surprised how our annual financial dates bring us even closer together!
Make a date
We set a date to do a financial year in review and jointly identify financial priorities for the new year. We each go into it with a good attitude and common purpose. Remember, a big part of this is jointly identifying and setting goals you can both work toward. We consider how each of us relate to and think about money (each person deals with money differently, as spending habits form early in life). We set ground rules with each other to communicate in a respectful manner. For a little pre-date homework, check out this five-minute read on communicating as a couple. We have found it helpful to set a time limit on the money talk (we use one hour). But spend as much time as you want daydreaming together about the future.
Set goals together
A big part of our money date is identifying our dreams and goals — this is the fun part! Together, we put a plan in place to achieve them. We find it’s helpful to start by agreeing on one or two goals. This could include paying off credit card debt, taking a family vacation or buying a car. Some goals may not be sexy (like upcoming home maintenance or auto repairs), but they are important and require planning. Learn more about setting SMART goals and get other financial planning tips.
Bring out the spreadsheet
For some, this may not be the fun part but it’s a critical step. Our preferred method is tracking everything in a spreadsheet. Whether you plug your finances into a software program, use a mobile app, or paper and pencil, the point here is you’ll want to have a summary of your current situation. Once we get it updated, we review our emergency fund. If you don’t have one, don’t panic; you might find this short video on understanding an emergency fund helpful. Next, we review our accounts: investment balances (breath; remember in the current economy, everyone’s investments have taken a hit) and debt balances like credit cards, car payments, etc. Lastly, I like to bring our spending plan up for review. Here is where we look at our goals from step one and then consider things like adjusting what we spend on dinners out or reviewing our subscriptions to check if we still want them.
Reflect on the past year
Before we create a plan for the new year, we look back on this year and think about what went well. We reflect, acknowledge and celebrate the financial wins from the year like saving up for our family vacation ahead of time and paying off our credit card. Then, we think about things we can do better in the coming year. Any impulse purchases that set you back and wish you could re-do? Any emergencies or repairs that caught you off guard? Did inflation make it harder to make ends meet? We give ourselves a pat on the back for our smart money moves, then we decide how we can readjust our spending behaviors to avoid any missteps (as that can happen to anyone) and put us on track to reach our goals.
Agree to adjust your spending plan
Next, we chart a course and adjust our spending plan to meet our goals. Depending on our goals, this could mean boosting our emergency fund, paying down debt or increasing contributions to retirement or other accounts. We look at new contribution limits for TSPs and IRAs and adjust our spending and savings plan accordingly. Remember, IRA contributions for 2022 can be made up to the tax-filing deadline on April 18, 2023.
As we approach our family finances, we take a page from the military: plan, plan, plan. As you and your partner review 2022 and prepare your finances for 2023, remember achieving your goals is a series of small steps and incremental changes. Staying on track with your financial goals takes a bit of work and a lot of communication. In addition to the year-end planning, my husband and I like to have a mini-money date once a month to check on our progress toward our goals and address surprises that come up as they always do.
Whether you want to make it a date over tacos, coffee, a glass of wine or in some other way, set a plan with your spouse to start the new year off on the right financial foot.
Mandi Moynihan is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional who has been with MilSpouse Money Mission since its inception. She also served in the Army and is the spouse of a retired service member.
MilSpouse Money Mission® is a Department of Defense resource that offers FREE personal financial education specifically geared toward spouses. There is a Money Ready guide for various stages of financial life, a MilLife Milestones section to help you through the big moments in your military journey, a blog, spouse videos, quizzes, calculators and more!
