It’s often a difficult decision to end a marriage. Or sometimes it may come as a surprise. Either way, it’s the end of a chapter, which can be a challenging transition. As with many challenges, it also offers the opportunity to persevere and prevail.

Several years ago, I was facing a divorce. I had two daughters, ages 6 and 3, and we were living in the Washington, D.C., area. My husband was an active-duty service member, and we’d been married over 10 years. We met while I was serving in the Army, so we went through many milestones together such as my transition from the service, having children and then his retirement after 20 years. When we came to the difficult conclusion it was best to go our separate ways, there was A LOT to consider.

Aside from the emotional turmoil and managing two young children through this process, there were many important financial decisions that impacted not only my future but also my children’s. Here are a few of the important considerations I faced:

• Housing and spending plan: Living in a high-cost area forced me to take a hard look at my spending plan, make adjustments and determine the best course of action for safe and affordable housing.
• Child support and spousal support: I went from part-time to full-time employment and moved from D.C. to Texas. The support you may receive (or pay) can be based on income and what state you live in.
• Military pension: I didn’t automatically qualify to receive a portion of my spouse’s military pension, but it’s important to know your rights as a military spouse under the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA). This is often determined by the court as part of the divorce process.
• Health care: Having enjoyed the benefits of TRICARE as a service member and spouse, I now had to explore my own healthcare options. My children, however, remained under TRICARE coverage.
• Financial assets and debts: With a mix of debts and assets, we had to be diligent to separate our finances. This included retirement accounts along with savings for our children such as our 529 plans, which allowed for only one account owner.

Since the decisions you make now have a long-term impact, it’s wise to seek legal and even professional financial counsel. To provide information and resources about the financial implications of divorce, we launched a new section of our website covering many factors to consider during a divorce.

While divorce made me feel completely overwhelmed at times and not sure where to start, I made a list and worked on items one at a time. I found breaking things down felt less stressful. It truly is one day at a time and important to give ourselves grace. It’s natural to feel uneasy about your next chapter, I certainly did. I spent many years as a single mom — I feel like I could write a book, not a blog! I’m happy to say that persevering through the ups and downs allowed me to prevail. I have remarried and my girls are thriving.

I often recommend to my friends who are going through or have been through a divorce to not lose sight of their own goals. That really helped me stay focused during times of uncertainty.

Mandi Moynihan is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional who has been with MilSpouse Money Mission since its inception. She also served in the Army and is the spouse of a retired service member.

MilSpouse Money Mission® is a Department of Defense resource that offers FREE personal financial education specifically geared toward military spouses. There is a Money Ready guide for various stages of financial life, a MilLife Milestones section to help you through the big moments in your military journey, a blog, spouse videos, quizzes, calculators and more!